A Collection of Bad Supply Chain Poems

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Yes, you read that title right. In honor of Bad Poetry Day I asked my colleagues to send me their best (and worst!) supply chain-related sonnets, odes, limericks, haikus – well you get the point. It turns out I work with quite a creative crowd. Now keep in mind this is BAD poetry day. So if you’re looking for Shakespeare quality prose, I suggest you just keep on looking. Without further ado, enjoy these supply chain poems written by Kinaxis staff just for you!   An Ode to Supply Chains By Alexa Cheater O supply chain, how I do appreciate thee, always working hard to bring things to me. From raw goods to finished, and everything in-between, your complexities are many, especially when you’re lean. Don’t let anyone dismiss you or belittle your worth, because without you supply chain, nothing could ever circumvent the Earth!   Supply Chain on the Brain By Lori Smith I’ve got supply chain on the brain I’m trying to stay sane Amid my supply-demand pain I don’t want to plan in vain So I need to refrain From forcing only one lane Go against the grain The key is to bend and change Flexibility without strain Old supply chain models slained! My determination will not wane   Carl I By Maddy Knuth Carl was an Inventory Manager Who knew he was better than amateur. So he suggested RapidResponse, To see the metrics he wants, And now he can reset parameters.   Carl II By Aswin Aristama PLANning to reduce inventory by 10%, Carl, the inventory manager, DOes it using RapidResponse. CHECKing on the status of the inventory reduction, His boss is impressed by Carl's ACTions, so he says, "Carl, thanks for your rapid response!"   Laments of a Master Scheduler By Taunya MacDonald Orders come in, supply goes out. Not enough here, too much there, all around me they shout. A Master Scheduler I am and not a friend I can make. A better solution I need, oh for goodness sake! But alas what is this? A hero is on the way! It's RapidResponse come to save the day! I could do this, I could do that. Create scenarios and compare, it's done in seconds flat. So things have changed, and everything is great. Ask me your questions, my answers are never late! RapidResponse lets me know sooner, act faster, that's what it's all about. Now work is done let's go for beers, I've got friends and we are heading out.   Excerpt from “The tragedy of the Inventory Planner, prince of Warehousemark”, Act III By Alvaro Fernandez To stock, or not to stock, that is the question: Whether 'tis Planner in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous forecasts, Or to take charts against a sea of wastes, and by responding end them: to hide, to grieve no more; and on the cheap, to say we end the headache, and the casual stock-out   The Rise of the Inventory Planner By Andrew Dunbar O’ Inventory planner; thy reactive ways Cause grief and suffering to Finance and customers alike. When in disgrace in fortune and men’s eyes1 Tis of importance to remind thyself that ‘I am the master of my fate’2 Arm thyself with the tools of the trade; Dashboard metrics and scorecards: combine. Once inventory forecasts and plans are laid To err is human; to Rapidly Respond, devine! 3 1 – Shakespeare 2 – W.E. Henley 3 – A. Pope   A Wicked Good Limerick By Kerry Currier There once was an Inventory Manager from Boston Who needed some excess from Austin With Rapid Response he could see a great transfer opportunity Shipping was all that it cost him   Scenario Hindsight By Steve McStravick Inventory Low, Supplier lead-time too long, Should have used "What ifs".   RapidResponse Haikus By Karen Morrison System requirements changes for users Requirements change. No IE seven or eight. No Java seven. Display a profile picture Upload a picture. It appears in messages And on your contact card. Find resources using global resource tags Administrators Can apply blue global tags To shared resources. Scenarios no longer need unique names Your scenarios Do not need unique names now. See the release notes. Reorder columns in a worksheet Rearrange columns In any type of worksheet Except for crosstab. Drill to a form With a single click" You can open a form now From a worksheet link. Workbook command logging and enhancements Errors might occur But commands can still proceed. The results are logged. Enhanced collaboration with contact cards Click a contact card To share a scenario Or send a message. Run a command to open a form On workbook toolbars Custom buttons can launch forms. Commands button, too. Dynamic forms Forms might give feedback And hide or deactivate Irrelevant fields. Send links to forms Now, send links to forms. Help colleagues to complete tasks – Link the form they need. Using key fields in a table to customize filters Tables can now have Many key fields. For filters, Choose the one you want.   Kinaxis By Joe Cannata Kinaxis you’re fast Our business is growing The woes in the past Big profits are flowing Supplies on the move We respond right away Production does groove IT leads the way Oh RapidResponse You so fill our need Our profits are up Shareholders succeed We’re stronger each day Your data we use To reshape the way Our brand does not lose   Missed Deliveries By Susan O’Loughlin Blizzard on East Coast Planes are grounded on tarmac No Christmas presents   The Transformation By Emily Fisk There once was a man named Manning Who performed Sales & Operations Planning. He lacked the support and information required, so sadly He performed it very badly. He worked in a silo without anyone with whom to collaborate Without help, many problems he did exacerbate. Spending his days frustrated, fighting fire after fire, He couldn’t wait until the day he could retire. On a bright sunny day, he stumbled upon RapidResponse The answer to his prayers, the eliminator of nonchalance All supply chain information and simulation in one place?! Silos and fires disappeared without a trace While supply chain disruptions still happen on a daily basis Reaction to change resembles a state of homeostasis Now the days of Sales & Operations Planning Are infinitely better for the man named Manning  

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